Home > urban > Martial King s Retired Life > Volume 9 Chapter 06 A Man Who Sucks at Checkers (Part 1)

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People dont know this because Ive never formally announced it: I am an elite checkers player. They call me King of Mount Daluos Checker Kings. Some people like to shorten my title, but I get it. Theyre jealous. If you think Im good at fighting, know that my checkers skills are the cream of the crop of the best of the elite of the greatest of the masters of the experts… You get the gist. Im godly at checkers. My checkers skills are in another league compared to my combat prowess. If I was to focus on checkers, Id already be the grandmaster of grandmasters of history, a legend to be remembered for eternity. When we played cloud-churning, Earth-shaking, star-dropping, thunder-clapping matches back on Mount Daluo, be it man, woman, human or not, I never lost once.

One winter, my shifu told me, “I am going to bequeath to you the way of checkers.” Since I didnt have the faintest idea about my dormant prodigious checkers gift then, I snapped, “Stop distracting me from my martial arts distracting, fool. Keep distracting me and thee will regret it.” That earned me five raging slaps. So, I set down my porn book and followed him.

I soon regretted not learning checkers from my shifu sooner and wasting thirteen years on porn-, training, instead. Training is lame! I was so regretful that I wanted to be rebirthed.

After watching one game of checkers, I was so enraptured that I was addicted. I remember my shifu also appearing to regret not teaching me the art of checkers sooner. Thats how I knew I was born to be a god at checkers. For the first time, I felt my shifu appreciated me.

Thanks to my gift for checkers, I was soon playing against my shifu. From what I know, he was good enough to demolish twenty-one national champions at once on Mount Wuyi, even having the luxury of time to play with a chicks hand on his left side and give the maiden on his right a peck while waiting for them to make a move. Hed be the undisputed checkers world champion right now if my shiniang didnt show up to catch him for cheating on her, vandalising the place and terrifying those present in the process.

My shifu gave my uncles and brothers twenty free moves each time they played. Only Second Brother did somewhat decent, so he sometimes won when Shifu gave him four free moves. As for me, I drew with Shifu in my first game. He said he could praise my talent for checkers until the sun came up if Second Brother didnt stop him.

To sum up, my shifu praised, “Your checkers skills are terrible. I mean, so shocking that gods would cry, and hell would fear you.” I pointed at my shifu and derided him for being jealous of my performance, so he added, “The situation has changed, though.”

“What and what”

“You used to suck, but you were fair. Ever since the mid games, youve changed. You can be bad, but you cant be shameless! Whyd you switch my pieces!”

Ill have you know I improved by leaps and bounds ever since then. I built up a wealth of experience through my countless games against my shifu.

One day, I decimated my shifu from dawn until midnight, when Shifu exclaimed, “Well played. I can see your strong desire to win. However, I must remind you: regardless of how much you want to win… you dont win if you switch peoples pieces right when theyre about to win! If you understand, put my pieces back… Hey, stop! Stop! Give it back! Your hands are too quick for me… Thats it. Put it down. Were throwing hands!”

The only time you should look back is to see how far youve come. Look forwards, people. By the way, Im the only person to ever beat my shifu at checkers.

“I get your point. You suck. Move on. Can we just get to the conclusion of your story” grumbled Mountain Monster, speaking weakly because of her injuries that left her bed ridden after she disguised herself as Abels and Luo Ming tried to kill her.

To be candid, I couldnt be certain that I could resuscitate Mountain Monster if we werent lucky that Luo Ming didnt know about Blood Fiend Silkworm Transformation Art‘s functions. Otherwise, he wouldve realised he only dismembered fake limbs. She wouldve bled out before I could save her if he actually severed her limbs.

In exchange for saving River Monster and Mountain Monster, they provided me with intelligence, and then we made our way to Luo Sword Manor. I didnt know my way to Luo Sword Manor, so we caught a ferry. Playing checkers was just our means of killing time.

Since we were on the topic of Luo Sword Manors Lotus Root Ground being comparably bewildering as a checkers game, Mountain Monster bragged she was a decent player, igniting my motivation to compete.

“Youre terrible. Can anybody provide me with a decent challenge”

“Tch, y-youre the one who is terrible.” Mountain Monster panted every time she spoke due to her injuries, yet she always argued with me. “All that smoke blown up your rear, yet you cant even beat me. King of ch-, wait, I didnt place my piece here… You switched my pieces, you cornhole!”

Its so lonely being by myself at the pinnacle.

Mountain Monster flipped the board over; probably wouldve jumped to her feet if she wasnt barely awake.

“Quiet! You two think this is an outing!” A-Lan snapped.

“Yeah, naughty kid,” I added.

“Wh-whod you call naughty Listen, pin dick, come… come here!”

“Your face is as white as a sheet, yet you still insist on finishing your pointless threat.”

“I said, be quiet! I feel like Ive aged several years around you two…”-

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